


Hange Zoe's fantasies

by Neechu



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crack, Gen, Hange Zoe's weirdest obsessions, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) Swears, Translation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-01 04:44:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4006309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neechu/pseuds/Neechu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TRANSLATION<br/>Hange Zoe's eccentricity needs no further proof and her twisted mind won't stop driving her comrades up the wall!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rivaille and the bathtub

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Les humeurs d'Hanji Zoe](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4006360) by [Neechu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neechu/pseuds/Neechu). 



> First published on [FFnet](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11270521/1/Hange-Zoe-s-fantasies).  
> 

If there was something that Hange Zoe would ardently protect, it would be her privacy. However the squad leader had no scruples about violating others.

"Oy, Four-Eyes ! Get the hell out of here! Your shoes are filthy!"

"Oh! Rivaille~! It is for the sake of science! You're the perfect subject for my study about the proportions of the human body!"

Carefully folding his shirt, the squad leader grumbled. The thought of having his bath in peace seemed impossible! Fucking Four-Eyes.

"Stop looking at me like that, you're crazy! I'm gonna keep my pants on until you get your ass out of here. And hurry up, before I make you!"

"Come on, it's for the sake of science!"

He clicked his tongue and he pushed her struggling self out of the bathroom.

"Go check out the proportions of the titans instead of pissing me off!"

"I've already checked it out, you dummy! The Titans have no reproductive organs! Moreover, Eren, he..."

"Do you think I give a fuck about that?" he roared, before looking his colleague in the eyes, those eyes.

"I repeat, I don't give a shit! OKAY?"

"Come on, Rivaille, I've been so bored since my two titans were killed, and Eren still not managing to transform... You just have to show me your..."

A kick in her ass tossed her out and he locked the door behind him.

"What a pain in the ass!" he sighed, hoping to be finally able to wash himself quietly.

Keeping an ear out for the slightest noise, and considering the silence as being a good sign, he decided to undress. Once completely bare, ready to go into the bathtub, he heard the key turning in the lock.

"HANGE, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"


	2. In Erwin Smith's office

Crossing his arms, Erwin observed his eccentric squad leader, her bottom firmly planted on his desk, complaining again about the disappearance of her two subjects of study, Sonny and Bean. But his patience was legendary, he never stumbled. Well, almost never.

"Did you know that Rivaille managed to fill his pants despite his small size?"

Coughing, he put down his cup of tea, almost choking in the process.

"Hange, that's enough. Recently I was told that Eren had screamed 'rape' while he was in the dungeons."

"It's important to know everything about the human kind in order to protect oneself better!"

He sighed for a long time.

"I don't see the connection with your obsession on the size of the attributes of the members of the Survey Corps."

"For reproduction! Well, finding a human being capable of touching Rivaille is still a long way to go- well, a woman that is."

She then gave a dazzling smile to her boss before going out by granting a last look to her superior, proud of her.

"I believe that Erwin blushed!"

 


	3. The limits of the patience

With a heavy tread, Corporal Rivaille crossed the yard while dragging a particularly noisy package.

"Oy the brats, move from there!" He yelled, passing through the small band.

"Corporal, what happened?" Eren asked, eyes wide.

Holding Hange by the collar he dragged her behind him without any care.

"Ereeeen~, help meeee!" the scientist begged, stretching her arms out towards him.

Mikasa kicked her in the hands while they got to close to Titan-shifter.

"Manage yourself!" The brunette grumbled out.

"It's okay, Mikasa, I know how to defend myself!" Eren groaned.

"Eren" began Hange with her bright eyes "you knew that Riv... AIIIE!"

"Shut up!" The small brunette sneered by giving a swift kick to the bottom of the scientist.

Then he kept dragging his colleague farther towards the well where they had first experiment with Eren, observed by the frightened recruits.

"Shit, I knew I should have joined the Military Police!" Jean groaned while discreetly shooting daggers at Eren.


End file.
